


Gentleman

by historicallyredacted (lockandkey)



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Attempt at Humor, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, TV Tropes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2020-07-12 03:55:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19939810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lockandkey/pseuds/historicallyredacted
Summary: Leo has worked for the Agency for awhile now, the guy in the chair helping Agents save the world and all that.But, now it seems like an actual supervillain is enamored with him.





	1. Ya valió madre

**Author's Note:**

> This story is almost entirely a parody of all the action hero, superhero, bad tv thrillers out there.  
> Like, I'm trying to keep some semblance of character, but it's... Honestly just a for shits and giggles type story.  
> It's not a healthy relationship because it's not meant to be don't @ me.
> 
> I think this story will be about 3 parts. I have around 6000 words already written.
> 
> Over the course of the story I think Octavian uses phrases in about 15 languages. This is an intentional riff on the vaguely non-American villains trope.  
> I'll probably make a list at the end of the story, but honestly there's no need to translate them. They're just random terms of endearment. usually.

“It’s the perfect plan!” Leo exclaimed, slamming his hand down on the blueprints in front of the group. “I know it’ll work. Because, I mean, I came up with it. When have my plans ever gone bad?”

Jason and Piper exchanged a look, as did virtually everyone else in the room, including grunts in the background working on machinery.  
“I…well, let’s spitball some other thoughts, maybe?” Jason spoke slowly, as though he didn’t want to spook a small animal. Or, small Leo that was.

“Right! Let’s maybe revisit that miniature drone idea?” Piper offered, looking to some other people behind her who seemed to catch on and began nodding animatedly.

“Oh- oh, yeah! The drones!”  
“That’s a good idea!”  
“Great job, Leo!”

Leo’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “I thought we already established that he had EMP devices set up around the perimeter of the base, so we can’t get in any drones, micro or otherwise.”

“Oh,” Piper’s face fell. “Well. Maybe underwater drones? I’m sure Percy could-“

Percy was sitting up on a desk behind Leo and shook his head very animatedly, throwing up a big NO with hand signs.

“Right, so, my plan is the best.” Leo said slowly, looking around the room. “ _Right_?”

Piper bit her lip and looked pleadingly up at Jason. Hero Jason. Crime fighting, evil syndicate breaking up Hero. Leo’s best friend since freshman year of high school, Jason.  
“It’s just…we’re worried about you, Leo.” Horrible liar, Jason.

“It could go wrong, really quickly.”

Leo rolled his eyes, tapping the laser pointer in his left hand against the desk. The whole presentation with slides had taken 25 minutes.

“He’s never hurt me before, Jason, come on. You know this is our best chance to get in the compound and plant the virus. This is the only way we can save those congressmen!...Or was it senators this time?”  
Leo hadn't really cared one way or the other, only skimming through the documents. All he knew was he hadn’t, and wouldn't, vote for the guys.

“Is it though? Is seducing a supervillain _really_ the best way?” Grover asked, slightly nervous. Then again, a lot of secret agents tended to have a nervous or paranoid disposition.

Leo threw his hands up, exasperated. “In this specific situation?! YES! Look, like I said, he’s never hurt me. Come on guys, I’ve always just been…the repair guy, the guy in the chair. But, this one crazy asshole seems to be in love with me, so let me do the super-secret spy shit for once! Instead of Jason, or Reyna, or Percy!”

“…But he’s _not_ in love with you.” Annabeth said, frowning, before being shushed and chided by about five people. “What? He’s not.”

“Uhhh,” Leo paused, before he laughed incredulously. Were they all crazy? Had they met the guy?  
“Yes, he is? He’s tried to capture me like…fifteen times now? He calls me all sorts of pet names in like…so many different languages? He poured me a glass of wine from the 1700’s for fucks sake!”  
There was complete silence, besides a nervous cough by a soldier in the back.  
“…What?”

“Don’t…you think, maybe…that’s a little suspicious?” Piper asked, her voice going down to calm soothing mode. “That the bad guy would target…you?”

Leo frowned, glancing down at himself and back up. Rude. “Why?”

“Because you’re a weak link,” Reyna huffed finally having had enough. Jason hissed something at the female captain, looking more like an upset bird more than a 6’2 blond superman.  
“Shush, Grace. Look, you’re Jason’s friend. Which means you have more information on him than anyone else besides Piper. You’re also in charge of our engineering and online resources, which means taking you out of the equation is important. Plus, you probably have connections to virtually every world leader, through your contacts at the Agency. He’s not going to chance taking Piper again, not after the first time he tried to kidnap her, Jason nearly brought down half a mountain.”

The first time Jason had met Piper, the girl had discovered for herself a secretive plot to kidnap and use major film and media stars. She had broken into a closed off building she suspected was involved, high up in the alps and ended up captured. Jason (and a whole team, but mostly Jason) had been sent in to extract her. The lovestruck blond idiot fell head over heels, nearly cost them the mission, if it hadn’t been for Piper’s quick thinking. She had been part of the group ever since.

Reyna looked Leo up and down, unimpressed. She’d led a black Ops group for over half a decade now, and Leo never seemed to give proper distance and caution to herself and her team. The engineer had gotten himself high clearance just from being associated with Jason Grace. It wasn’t like he underestimated her, or treated her poorly, but the kid lived in a bubble of his own creation. Everything was at least partly a game to him. Leo was either often dangerously flippant or damn near suicidal. Or, that’s what it seemed like. If he wanted to be an Agent, he’d have to learn now. He couldn't continue to assume he and Jason could buddy cop their way through things like a bad B movie.

“You, Valdez? You’re the easy target. You have no romantic affiliation. You’re not physically strong enough to stop him; and you’re apparently extremely gullible for a smart person.”

Jason was pinching his nasal bridge by the time Reyna had finished speaking, while Piper was looking resolutely anywhere besides Leo.

Leo blinked, and opened his mouth, before closing it. “That…That’s not. No, he’s…he tells me he’s-”

“Attracted to you? No offense, but you’re far from the most attractive man on this vessel. You’re not even the most attractive gay short man in this room.”

Nico, behind Reyna seemed to connect the dots, and frowned. “Was that a compliment or-“

“Look, Leo, we appreciate the offer, really.” Piper pushed Reyna to the side slightly, shooting her a look. “But, we…should probably look for …other options, okay.?

“I’m bi,” Leo said hollowly. “I’m not gay.”

“Leo, don’t make this into something it isn’t.” Jason exhaled sharply out of his nose. “You really don’t want to have a supervillain attracted to you. I get it, the guys weird, it's confusing…look, come on, let's brainstorm something else. I'm sure you still have half a dozen other ideas.”

“You…all agree with her?” Leo shook his head, as something in his chest clenched. Did they think so little of him? “You think he’s just…trying to get information out of me? Because I’m some…naïve, weak, loveless idiot?”

No one said anything more, so Leo laughed to himself. This was like all highschool and college all over again. “Okay, wow. Fine. Whatever.”

“Leo-“ Jason started, but Leo turned to leave the ready room.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just go back to engineering. You’re right, obviously, you’re _always_ right, aren’t you?” The door slammed behind him.

“Fuck that,” Leo hissed, stomping down the small metal corridors on the aircraft carrier. He muttered to himself the entire way, ignoring the looks he got from seamen.

“So what if I’m not…Nico, or Jason, or Percy. Maybe I’m his type?” Leo had, as far as Leo knew, never been anyone’s type, but that didn’t matter. One girl in 9th grade described him as an over eager gerbil.  
"Okay, so maybe Reyna has a point, I’d be useful to his evil schemes – but that just means I’m smart! Smart is sexy, right? That’s probably a kink right, like bibliosexual or something? He probably just appreciates my abilities on multiple levels! It’s not like he only became interested in me when he found out who I was in relation to Jason!” Wait, that’s exactly what had happened, wasn’t it? Leo stopped dead in the middle of a hallway.

“Oh god, she’s right, isn’t she?” Leo stewed in his own angst for a minute, before deciding to say fuck it and just return to his room. He continued to grumble, passing by some of the same soldiers who sent him increasingly odd looks until he reached his room.

“Of course, who would be attracted to Leo Valdez? I can’t even have a singular supervillain?” He slammed that door for emphasis too.

“Well, I may know of one. Hello, _passerotto mio_.”

Leo froze, he unfortunately knew that voice quite well, before turning cautiously. Sure enough, a young man sat on his bed, legs crossed in a very nice black suit. He was taller than Jason, but slimmer in figure, with a head of immaculate pale blonde hair. His tone was soft and casual, but his pale blue eyes were always intense.  
“Octavian,” Leo said slowly. “How the fuck did you get in here?”

Octavian stood up, nearly having to crouch in the small rooms within the aircraft carrier. He held a hand over his heart, and sighed. “I searched for you in my soul, _amore_ , and found you here.”

“ _Haha_. Don't make fun of me. Okay, that’s bullshit.” Leo held up a finger and pointed at the ground. “I mean, here, in my room? In the exceptionally well defended aircraft military carrier in the middle of the fucking nowhere Pacific Ocean, without anyone noticing?”

Octavian smiled, which was always a bit disturbing, because he looked slightly (understatement) manic at times.

“Maybe I’m from an underwater civilization, like Atlantis; or, maybe I have private submarine, radar shielding… and I’m sorry to tell you this, but not everyone on this ship is so…sympathetic to your friends causes.”

Bad, that was very bad, really very bad news. They had turncoats, spies. Everyone on board was in danger. Leo needed to stall the man, as best as possible. Jason or Piper would likely come to check on him after a bit.

“That’s…got to be some really good radar shielding, to hide from this ship.” Leo said slowly, leaning up against the door.  
Octavian walked closer. This man had toppled small governments, created rebellions, killed politicians and businessmen. “…Want to tell me how it works?”

“Oh, I’d love to, but I’m afraid my tech knowledge isn’t anywhere near as advanced as yours, _lux vitae meae_.” Octavian was close enough to smell his cologne. He smelled good, he always smelled good; Leo smelled like engine grease usually. Leo didn't know anything about cologne, but Octavian’s was never overpowering, it was the kind you wanted to lean in closer to sniff, next to their body.  
“I can always ask my people for the tech details. If you’d stay with me until morning, I’d love to tell you over breakfast.”

“Latin this time?” Leo’s ears were heating up, and he fanned himself. “Boy, just jumping right to it, huh?”

A small smirk tipped up the corner of Octavian’s lips, “I’d be a perfect gentleman.”

Nervous laughter bubbled up in Leo’s throat. A gentleman supervillain. Ridiculous.

“That’s…great and all,” Leo stuttered over a few words. “But…the jig is up, you know. I’m…wise to you. If you think I’m some…weak link, you’re wrong.”  
Octavian’s brows furrowed just ever so slightly.  
“Yeah,” Leo nodded to himself, feeling mildly emboldened in the face of death. “I’m never going to tell you anything about Jason, or any codes, or anything about my machines! You can sweet talk all you want, but I’m not that naïve!” Yes, he was. Apparently. “You can drop the act, you’re not tricking anyone.”

“Tricking you?” Octavian repeated slowly. “With….sweet talk?”

“Yup,” Leo popped the p, taking a step forward away from the door. He shoved a finger into Octavian’s chest, who looked down at it, amusement clearly growing on his face. It was a familiar look, like the first time they met.  
“We both know you don’t have the hots for me. Look at me. I’m…not even the hottest short gay guy on the boat.” Leo faltered slightly, trying to repeat Reyna’s words. Would Octavian go after Nico next? Mitchell? Mitchell was kind of an asshole, so Leo hoped not. Octavian could do better- wait, he was a mass murderer.

“I see.” Octavian grabbed up Leo’s hand and kissed his knuckles. “Says who?”

Leo’s brain stopped functioning. “Buh, what wait? I-…everyone apparently?”

Octavian peppered kisses down his hand, to his fingers. “Ah, and who is everyone? When did this happen? You used to be so fiery, telling me you could _never_ be with a man like me…Now, you believe I’m lying?”

“I-..I…” Leo’s eyes were focused on the pale hand around his own tan one. He still had dirt and grime on his hands, but that didn’t seem to matter. It never seemed to matter. In fact the more filthy Leo was, the more interested Octavian acted.  
“They…told me my plan was bad…”

Octavian paused, looking Leo in the eyes. “Plan?”

“I…was going to offer myself up to you, seduce you, and then plant a virus?” Leo laughed, awkwardly trying to pull his hand back. “I’m guessing you would have just tortured and killed me, huh?”

Octavian’s eyes had dilated, and his head tilted just slightly to the side. “Seduced me? How so?”

Leo flushed. “Man, I don’t know. You know, I only have spy movies to go off of? I guess… wear something skimpy, get all up close and personal, but put off sex until I can drug you asleep? Something like that? Do they make poison lipstick, or is that just a TV comic book thing?”

Teeth nipped at Leo’s finger tip, just slightly, before Octavian answered in a rough voice. “If you think I would kill you for that, you’re very mistaken. And, while I can’t possibly object to you in less clothing, I find you quite seductive as you are.”

Leo looked down at his grungy white tank top and brown oil stained jogger type shorts. “Okay, now I’m really starting to realize how full of shit you are. Drop the act-”

He was cut off, by getting pushed against the door. Lips met his in a demanding kiss, while hips pressed against Leo’s stomach gave away the fact maybe he wasn’t so full of bullshit. Octavian was hard, not fully, but enough that butterflies in Leo’s stomach began to flutter. Leo’d never been with a man before, he’d barely been with a woman. He’d spent ages 16-23 essentially as Jason’s weird sidekick. They’d been trying to save the world for the last 3 years, and before that it was just crunch week, except if crunch week was 4 solid years. Any guy or girl around was attracted to Jason, or Piper, or Nico, or Percy, the list grew and grew as they met more and more agents.

Leo whined slightly, clenching his hands into the suit in front of him. Octavian was always such a good kisser. Leo found that out kidnapping 6#. Leo was properly distracted, playing tonsil hockey until something blasted him out of the moment.

An actual blast, that rocked the ship. The metal groaned, and creaked in a way that told Leo the ship was likely taking on water, a lot of it.

Octavian pulled back, lips flushed a lovely red, smiling like the cat that got the Canary. “Ah, well, that’s my que. You know what you said about drugging someone asleep?”

Leo paused, and frowned, and then realized. “Oh.” _Ya valió madre._

In one of Octavian’s hands was a very small patch, that he had affixed to the back of Leo’s neck as he kissed him. Leo’s vision began to blur, and he felt the familiar sensation of blacking out. This was not the first time Octavian had used such a thing on him. Afterall, this was kidnapping number 16. Knock out patch was roughly kidnapping #9 which Leo didn't remember very well, besides laying in bed with a headache and Octavian massaging his temples. Leo had built up more of a tolerance since then.

“Sleep, _petit souris_.” Octavian’s voice became a garbled mush of noises. Leo mumbled something that sounded like 'you're French now?' before he stumbled and collapsed into open arms.

-

“Computers, computers,” Leo sang to himself, as he pulled out hard drives and wires. “Only an idiot doesn’t protect their computers!”  
It wasn’t like it was Leo’s first time out or anything, him and Jason had already taken on some serious nasty pieces of work, but this was their first real mission together. Jason had been roped into the Agency a year and a half ago, but Leo was left sitting in an office. Of course, the Agency had excellent offices. Nice chairs, some nice pieces of tech, coffee stations. But, it was getting boring, just surveying cameras, talking to Jason and other Agents over comms. Leo had wanted action, so when some freak that called himself Octavian (real name unknown) captured a good sized law firm in the heart of New York city, he jumped at the chance.

Most of the bad guys and Agents fighting were in another part of the building; Leo wasn’t trained for any of that really, but he was trained to take down any computers, networks, and surveillance the dastardly bastard had set up. A couple Agents were at the look out, keeping Leo covered as he went to work. They were the strong silent type, probably, didn’t want to talk to Leo much. Because of duty, and honor. Definitely not because they thought he was annoying.

“You know,” Leo pulled out a screwdriver from his toolbelt, “you should really let me make some customizations to your weapons. Sure, they’re good, but they could be so much better.”

“I’m sure they’d appreciate the thought,” a voice said behind Leo. That was not Hank or Sam, Leo realized, and scrambled to his feet.  
A blond man stood at the doorway, his body posture was relaxed, but his expression was anything but. Hank, one of the Agents, slid down the wall, throat bloody and flowing down his chest at an alarming rate.

Leo’s hands went cold, as he watched the man of the hour, Octavian, casually wipe arterial blood splatter off his cheek like it was jam.  
Sam wasn’t as far gone as Hank had been, and he struggled to stand up to fight back. Octavian let out a gleeful laugh, before grabbing Hank’s gun and blasting Sam through the bottom of his chin and out the top of his skull.

“Oh, my god.” Leo whispered, stomach turning over. It wasn’t the first death he had seen, not the first dead body, but this was a small closet; Leo was right up close and personal. A piece of Sam landed on Leo’s boots.

“You…came! Octavian, sir, I was captured!” Leo gasped out, coming to his senses. “I’m so glad to see you! I thought those…Agency bastards would kill me!”

Octavian had taken a moment to grab up personnel information from the fallen Agents, but at Leo’s voice, he zeroed in on the shorter man. The same expression that had been on Octavian’s face when he killed Sam came back full force.  
“Try again.”

Leo gulped, holding up his hands. “I’m the computers guy! I swear! They trapped me in here when I came to check on the servers they had already started to destroy!”

Octavian held up Hank’s gun and cocked it. “Last chance, _pieni rotta_.”

Leo momentarily forgot his fear as he full grimaced. “Yo, man, did you just call me a rotten penis? What even language was that?”

Octavian looked more amused, shrugging a shoulder, but tilted the gun back and forth in a lazy manner. “Tic toc, tic toc.”

Leo’s shoulders dropped, “what answer would keep you from blasting my brains out?”

Octavian actually seemed to think about it. “Well, you’re obviously tech savy, otherwise you wouldn’t be here - that could always be useful, however if you’re too high ranking you become a target – too low, I have no use for you.”

Leo grinned, clapping his hands together. “That’s like, so convenient, you have no idea! Because, I am, in reality, a moderately high level engineer! Like, perfect level of useful enough not to kill immediately! I’m so glad we sorted this out. In fact, you don’t even have to torture me!”

Octavian holstered the gun with a nod. Holy shit, had that actually worked?  
“Good try. Now, who are you actually? We can have this conversation civilly.”

No, of course not. Leo snorted. “Well, aren’t you the gentleman.”

A crackle from Leo’s comms kicked in, as Jason’s voice came through. “ _Leo! You need to evacuate immediately! I repeat. Evacuate immediately!”_

“Leo,” Octavian pronounced slowly, deeply, to the point it felt nearly invasive. “You’re Leo Valdez? I’d heard of you, of course, but I had no idea…”

Leo, tight lipped and clench jawed, lifted the comm to his mouth. “NOT A GREAT TIME, JASON. OVER.”  
Then he turned back to Octavian. “Yeah, well, I’ve made a point to remove myself from anything trackable. Plus, the Agency didn’t want to let me off leash until today. Obviously, I'm just too dangerous. Five foot two inches of Rambo.”

“How is your first experience in the field?” Octavian asked casually, seemingly playing along.

“Oh,” Leo shrugged a shoulder. “You know. Started off okay, tons of bacon at the buffet, then we broke into this building to save a bunch of rich white guys in suits. Now, an even whiter guy slash possible supervillain is holding me hostage. Also, I’ve got brains from a guy on my shoes. It is what it is.”

Octavian’s expression, inexplicably, softened slightly from a 13 on the Murdery scale, to…maybe a 4?  
“You amuse me, _schattig_ mechanic. If we were under better circumstances, I’d love to take you out. Do you like Italian?”

“Why?Are you Italian?”

“Very possibly, or maybe not.”

“Well, you know, you’re kind of hot in a scary way, so I’d probably take you up on that. I get out like…never.” Leo questioned if he should be flattered or not, or what the fuck a schattig was. Didn't sound Italian. Something Nordic maybe?  
“But, again, guys brains on my shoe.”

“You really seem stuck on the shoe thing.”

“Much like the grey matter on my shoe.”

“I’ll get you a new pair,” Octavian, stepped aside from the doorway as more men showed up. Not Leo’s men.

“But, first, I’m afraid little _kiniun_ …you’ll be coming with me.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Attempt 16 was so far the most successful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who's your favorite tmnt

  
  


Leo blearily opened his eyes and found himself in a familiar room. White plaster walls, deep red accents, and ancient looking columns on the veranda overlooking a lush garden. It would put the hanging gardens of Babylon to shame, or so Octavian had told Leo once. Leo didn’t know anything about plants, or the outdoors, or what it had to do with that show Babylon 5. But, it was really pretty.  
The whole base had a classic feel to it, like you’d been removed out of time, or if you had been transported into a bad series on the unfortunately named History Channel. Octavian had a weird thing for age-old Roman things, like conquest and domination. It was partly why no one was entirely sure if his name was Octavian from birth or not. It could have just been a complicated reference to Caesar Augustus, founder of Rome. The current theories about Octavian’s motives were world domination, or at least the creation of a new military state, a New Rome, but it hadn’t ever been confirmed. No one had much on him to go off, no known history, no paper trails, nothing. Just a love of gladiator movies, very presumably BDSM, and apparently Babylon 5.  
  
“Ugh,” Leo groaned, turning to grab the aspirin and glass of water he knew would be on the side table. “I should just move some shit in, spare clothes, maybe a toothbrush. I seem to be here often enough…”  
  
“I agree, _mi amor_.” Octavian said, reading from a book at the foot of the bed. Leo also knew he’d be there. “In fact, I believe we should get married. We’ve been dating for quite some time, now. What kind of ring do you want? I have access to an asteroid.”  
  
“I’m sorry to break this to you, but we’re actually not dating at all. Not even a little bit. Also, I can’t physically give you any heirs.” Leo sighed, running a hand through his hair. It wasn’t as messy as it usually was, but Octavian usually brushed it while Leo was out for the count.   
Leo’d never admit Octavian speaking specifically Spanish did things to him.  
  
“That’s something crazy dictators want, right? Bunch of heirs?”  
  
“Mm, ignoring adoption or surrogates, all we’d just need a host uterus, artificial or otherwise. My people have developed a way to combine the DNA of two men or two women within an artificial egg.” Octavian turned the page, like he wasn’t a supervillain bent on world domination (presumably) “Granted, I don’t particularly care about any heirs. It is possible though.”  
  
“Wait,” Leo held up a hand, realization dawning on him. “…Did Larry and Mark finally have kids?”  
  
“Mhmm,” Octavian closed the book, looking up at Leo with a pleasant (non-manic) smile on his face. “They’re trying.”  
  
“Oh my god, I’m so happy for them!” Leo’d _really_ gotten to know a few of his guards by now. “I’m still not marrying you though, you just blew a hole in an aircraft carrier. That being said, I do also want access to an asteroid, would I get half of it if we got married?”  
  
Octavian shrugged a shoulder, never concerned. “I have a sneaking suspicion the military industrial complex will recover, for now. However, I am glad to hear you’ve changed your mind about my so-called manipulation via…how did you put it, _sweet talk_? I’m glad to hear you think it’s sweet.”  
  
Leo faltered, pushing the blankets off and getting out of bed. Silk pajamas, always the best.   
“That’s…” Leo had forgotten about that. That was right. He remembered the looks on Reyna’s face, on Piper’s and Jason’s.  
“…If I agreed to marry you, but I promised to never tell you a single secret about the Agency, about Jason, or about anything that could in anyway help you with any of your plans…you’re telling me you’d…be okay with that?”  
  
“Oh, _mo ghaol_ , I’ve never assumed you’d tell me anything. Have I ever asked? Threatened you? Hurt you in any way?” Octavian stood, and came to Leo’s side. He raised a hand to Leo’s face, fingers resting causally at Leo’s neck and thumb rubbing small circles into his cheek. “I adore you.”  
  
“Why, though?” Leo looked at the floor, away from Octavian’s face. “I’m just…”  
  
“Brilliant, smart, handsome, clever, funny, beautiful, talented…” Octavian finished for him, tone slightly chastising, but in a fond way. “Yes, I have no idea.”  
  
“I’m 5’2, I’m a tooth pick, I’ve got like a mole on my forehead I keep covered with hair because I’m a little scared it might be an absorbed twin, because it’s got like this massive whisker in it I pluck secretly. And then I say things like that when I’m nervous…”  
  
Octavian laughed, shaking his head. “Your size is convenient, cute even; you still have a good deal of upper body strength, your muscles are toned even if you’re slim. And, you have a beauty mark. You’re interesting, and funny. It’s not like I’m particularly muscular either. I think you called me a murderous scarecrow for half a year.”  
  
Leo groaned and flopped back down onto the bed, “I still have braces, Octavian!”  
  
“It’s respectable that you care about oral hygiene,” Octavian responded with a shrug, kneeling down to the ground between Leo’s legs. He looked like a knight, bowing before his king.  
“I understand why the Agency may think I have ulterior motives; admittedly, you would be a great target. But, like I said, I truly adore you _solnyshka_. In time, you’ll accept that, because I believe you already know deep down that I’m telling the truth.”   
  
  
  
  
  
The Brazilian government had apparently covered up the fact that they had recently discovered a massive underground temple. It was a lost holy place for numerous native Brazilian tribes, but the current regime didn’t want to award any more protection of land over to the native peoples. Why? Because of course they didn’t. That would mean they couldn’t strip it for resources, who cared about history, preservation, or other cultures in the face of cold hard cash?  
The Agency was tasked with keeping peace, and with further private exploration of the temple before the government got to work. The entire place was still majorly unknown, the exact size and scale was a mystery. No one was entirely sure who built it even.  
  
Leo and another tech Rachel, were the grunts that were sent down into the terrifying and dark abyss with just flashlights and backpacks. They’d spent a week developing an advanced mapping system, that could create a 3D rendering of any hidden passages and tunnels. But, they had to place a few probes in the temple first at strategic points for it to work, which meant having to be there in person first.  
Two Agents accompanied them, Agent di Angelo and Agent Levesque. They were apparently the only ones willing to go spelunking with the tech-y desk jockeys. Leo would have preferred Jason, but he knew the guy was terrified of enclosed spaces underground. These two didn’t seem to be bothered by it in the slightest.  
  
The two Agents hadn’t talked much at first, but eventually Levesque and Rachel got on like wildfire. Di Angelo wasn’t so friendly, and when it came time to split up, Leo was disappointed he got stuck with the angry emo Agent baby, instead of the stupidly hot spy lady. Agent di Angelo only got angrier for some reason when Leo said as much.  
They had been walking throughout the tunnels in the cavernous temple for about an hour, when Leo and his babysitter came across an old rope bridge to the other side of the cave system they were in. It was too big to jump across, but Leo needed to get to the other side to place a probe.  
  
“Hey, too spooky?” Leo grinned, turning to the Agent who grimaced at said nickname. “Have you ever heard why the lion crossed the bridge?”  
  
“What are you talking about- _Hey!_ ” Leo was already darting across the bridge, backwards, big hefty backpack and all. He could feel it creaking and cracking under his feet, but Leo made it safely.  
  
“To get to the other side! Get it?” Leo called over, cupping his hands around his mouth. Agent di Angelo flipped him off. “That’s not very professional! Come on! It’s totally safe!”  
The rope bridge promptly snapped and collapsed into the nothingness below.  
“I rescind that! Don’t do it!”  
  
Agent Angel whipped out a comm and seemed to be having a very tense conversation with someone on the other line as he paced back and forth, his light moving around the room.  
  
“Hey, it’s fine, buddy!” Leo yelled. “I’ll just go plant the other probe, while you get like a ladder or something! Not like anything else is down here! You know, besides snakes, and spiders, and scorpions and other _totally_ natural things that could kill me!”  
  
An hour or two later and Leo was increasingly worried there really was nothing down here. The temple seemed to be built into an existing cave system, which could theoretically be hundreds of miles long. It was just endless amounts of rock and water dripping and bats and bugs.   
Leo was getting tired, and hungry, so when he heard voices and the reflections of light in the distance, he couldn’t help himself. He bolted towards the commotion, waving his flashlight.  
  
“HEY! I’m so glad you-“ Leo found himself in a large cave opening, surrounded by men and women in black attire, now all pointing guns at his face.  
Octavian stood in the middle, eyebrow raised, and a manic smile beginning to overtake his expression.  
“Oh boy. I am lost. I am but a poor lost…Brazilian person. I got a bit turned around back there, I’ll just…turn around and go the other way.”  
  
“Don’t shoot,” Octavian waved a hand. “I know this little _vagalume_.”  
  
As Octavian walked forward towards sweaty, filthy, gross covered Leo, and the crowds parted around Octavian like he was some kind of God. Supervillains sure knew how to make an impact.  
“My, my, why are _you_ here, _meu querido_?” Octavian’s smile was dangerous, and the flashlight casting shadows just accentuated the madness. “The Agency must know something, if they’re willing to send you in.”  
  
“I, uh,” Leo was flustered, his sweat sticking his hair to his forehead. “…Searched my soul? And found you!”  
  
Octavian laughed, coming close enough to rest his hand on Leo’s cheek. “Well, you weren’t what we were looking for, but I can’t say I’m displeased.”  
He turned to the men closest to him, “ _leve-o de volta ao acampamento_.”  
  
Leo yelped as he was grabbed and thrown over a shoulder. “What the fuck did you just say?! Octavian! Hey! Why are we in the one South American country I can’t speak the language of! Oi, _hablar español por favor_ -”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“I hate you, I hate you so much, oh _my god_.” Leo gasped, moving up and down, his hands clenched into the headboard behind Octavian’s stupid face. Leo was sweating so much, it was disgusting. Had he sweat this much the first time he had had sex? No, Leo was pretty sure he had gotten in the girl, whimpered, and collapsed to the side pretty much immediately.   
  
“Do you want to stop?” Octavian grinned up at him knowingly, his own hands on Leo’s lower hips stopped encouraging him. Leo’s thighs were burning, his abdominal muscles were tensed almost the entire time. He needed Octavian’s help to keep going, to keep moving. Leo was already shaky after extended foreplay, he had already spent holding himself up on his arms and knees as the villain decided to take his time and use his tongue.   
  
“I will actually kill you if you stop,” one of Leo’s hands left the headboard to dig into Octavian’s scalp and pull him forward for a messy kiss. The angle shifted Leo away from riding the cock inside him, to just rocking back and forth in a needy manner. He needed more momentum, the pressure was good, it was so good, but he needed _more_. It didn’t help that Octavian had a hand around his cock, with just enough pressure at the base of the shaft that Leo couldn’t find the release he was looking for. He wasn't stroking it, he wasn't doing anything that Leo _needed_. He was being an actual cocktease.  
“I will remove your windpipe I swear to god, I refuse to be a pump and dump,” Leo pulled away, nipping just slightly at Octavian’s lower lip. “Octavian, come on, _estoy loco por ti, te necesito_. Please?”  
  
Octavian’s eyes were normally very light blue, but right now Octavian’s pupils were blown wide and black.   
He flipped Leo over onto his back.  
“Anything for you, the entire world for you.”  
  
  
Maybe he _was_ easy, Leo thought, sprawled out in bed that night. 16 kidnappings were all it took for him to go full Stockholm Syndrome.   
Octavian was asleep next to him, completely defenseless, if you didn’t count the armed guards outside and the whole island fortress thing.   
  
“Poor thing, wore himself out”, Leo whispered as he reached over and pushed a few pieces of hair away from the man’s forehead.   
Granted, Leo had fully passed the fuck out after their romp as well, he just woke up sooner. The benefits of horrific insomnia, not even 3 orgasms could keep him asleep for long.  
  
“Oh my god, I slept with a supervillain,” Leo flopped back down onto his pillow. The thread count on these sheets was ridiculous. “Repeatedly.”  
  
“Mm, was I at least a gentlemen?” Octavian’s voice was somewhat rough from sleep, and probably from the blowjob, but he was awake enough to throw and arm around Leo’s side and pull him close.  
  
“Very much so,” Leo whispered back, shoving his face into Octavian’s neck. “Maybe…I can be the…uh, _gentleman_ next time?”  
Octavian had a great dick, just _perfect_. Hit all the spots. Looked good, felt fucking fantastic. But, he also was pretty in his own way, and had a nice ass. Leo wanted in it.  
  
“Whatever you wish, _mi amor_. I look forward to it.” Octavian pulled Leo in closely, kissing his forehead.  
He really was a gentleman.  
  
Octavian then swung a leg over Leo, and straddled his waist.   
  
“Wait, right now?”  
  
  
  
  
  
“We are going to fucking die!” Leo screamed at the scarecrow on stilts. “I refuse to die because a piece of anthropomorphized _spaghetti_ with a God complex kidnapped me!”  
  
Octavian looked mildly annoyed at the insult, or maybe just the fact Leo had been yelling nonstop for about five minutes. Octavian rarely looked particularly bothered by anything Leo did or said, so he must have been fairly stressed out.  
“We’re not going to die from this,” Octavian glanced at his passenger, who hadn’t put down a small metal lighter. “We might die if you burn up all our oxygen, however.”  
  
Leo’s eyes narrowed, and he flicked the lighter shut. “Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid, Julius Caesar. Your navigation system is shot, your craft is taking on water, and the control panel is fucking glitching halfway to Siberia. You did this, this is your fault. I’m smaller than you, when we inevitably die horrifically here, I want to at least survive long enough to see you die first. You’ll need oxygen before I do.”  
  
“No,” Octavian corrected, clenching his jaw. “Your Agency did this by sabotaging my submersible, knowing fully well you were aboard. So much for loyalty.”  
  
Leo rolled his eyes, and threw his legs up on the console, as they were starting to get soggy. “No, they didn’t. I’m too valuable. They’d still be stuck with tech from the 50’s if it wasn’t for my ass. Say, how painful would it be to get eaten by sharks?”  
  
“Probably very,” Octavian grabbed one of Leo’s feet and tossed it off the machinery. “You know very little about the organization you work for, apparently. They track all assets.”  
  
“Uh, _yeah_ , no shit. I removed that crap forever ago.” Leo gestured at a small scar on his arm. “So, again, back to being your fault. You, alone, used a submersible to kidnap me. In my fucking pajamas!”  
They were classic teenage mutant ninja turtles, Leo had told Octavian.  
  
“I thought it would be…” The madman, for once, appeared to be struggling to find the words. “ _Romantic_. Moonlit dinner, with nothing but the ocean around us.”  
  
Leo looked in the back of the compartment, at the nearly cliché picnic box and bottle of wine. There were even fucking roses.  
“Goddammit. Move, you asshat.” Leo got out of his seat, and pushed Octavian to the edge of his own, sitting beside him. Octavian looked at him curiously, but Leo was already starting to fiddle with the console controls. It didn’t look like much was happening.  
  
“If we are to die here, then I can’t say I mind the company,” Octavian admitted, only to get flipped off. “…Leonardo was always my favorite ninja turtle.”  
  
Leo sat up sharply, looking directly at the man. “Where the fuck are you from?! I swear to Christ, how do you speak 500 languages, yet know TMNT? Ain’t no one in American public school systems do word good.”  
  
“Maybe I was raised by a giant rat in the New York city sewers?” Octavian offered, with a smirk. “Who knows. You know, I know some about your past. You were doing extremely advanced mathematics in elementary school. You make fun of my education, but you’re obviously brilliant yourself, in fields and ways much more advanced than I.”  
  
“I hate you, leave me alone, I’m working.” Leo’s face was slightly red as he grumbled but turned back to the display. “…I expect more than a picnic when I save your pasty white butt.”  
  
“Of course, _mój drogi_.”  
  
The water had gotten uncomfortably close to the electrical equipment, but it had only taken Leo a few minutes before the submersible was back in some amount of working order. It would still sink, it was taking on far too much water with no way of repairing physical damage like that, but at least now they could deploy the emergency raft.   
Within five minutes, they were sitting in a black and red raft. It wasn’t small or flimsy, thankfully. Leo had enough room to fully stretch out on the blanket that had been in the picnic basket. Octavian had made a call to his men, it was likely they’d be there within the hour, but for the time…  
Octavian laid down beside the shorter man, staring up at the stars.  
  
“I guess it is kind of romantic. Maybe not the impending threat of death so much, but it is pretty out here. There’s not as much pollution out here…the stars are really bright.” Leo pointed at a few, “do you know any constellations?”  
  
Octavian did, so instead of answering, sat up on his elbow and leaned over to kiss the mechanic. Leo jerked backwards, eyes wide.  
“What the hell, did you just kiss me?” Octavian kissed him again, before pulling back and looking mighty pleased with himself.   
  
“I hate you, that’s such a breach of my personal space, it is completely uncalled for.” Leo ranted before he was grabbing the back of Octavian’s head and pulling him in for another.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter: leo reenacts a scene from cast away, and stabs a guy. Octavian finally says where the fuck hes from. I still won't be able to write sex scenes. all this and more, next time on Gentleman


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I was actually planning on updating this right before I heard about the Disney+ PJO adaption. Now, I just gotta. 
> 
> If you don't remember or haven't reread the previous two chapters, remember this story is a bit out of order time line wise.

It didn’t make sense. Why were the Agency and the Bad Guys TM were so obsessed with this specific area? 

There was nothing up here besides mountains, snow, goats, more snow, and possibly Yeti. They weren’t particularly near Everest, though you could see it on a clear day. However, there were no clear days - the winds this time of year were fearsome, and they blew up a near constant shroud of white.   
The Agency had set up a watch tower here for unknown reasons; and supposedly somewhere past the Tibet border, Octavian’s men had set up their own base.   
Leo thought getting back into the field after his last run in with Octavian would be good, and what honestly could go wrong up in the Himalayas? Besides falling to his death, or freezing to death, or getting Yeti’d to death. Everyone was too cold to fight. There was no way the boss man himself would be here, it was just a basic observatory or something. Why would Octavian care enough to be here?

Of course, Leo ended up being entirely wrong on all fronts. They had discovered the remnants of a temple along a semi-shielded mountain side, not particularly old but no longer used by the locals at the base of the mountain. Leo went with Jason and a few other Agents to check it out, before the next big storm was scheduled to roll in.   
Apparently, the baddies had the same thought process, because Leo found himself in the middle of a firefight quickly. He was dodging and ducking behind the weirdly large amount of supply crates Octavian’s people had left around the temple. Leo hadn’t seen Octavian himself, and after that last encounter, he was glad for it. It wasn’t like he had been tortured, or starved, or even treated particularly poorly, but Leo had no idea what the man wanted. It was just weird. Plus, the food was subpar. Not torturous, but their grilled cheese was _atrocious_.

“Leo,” Jason had jumped over a crate and landed near where Leo was …definitely not cowering in fear. “They’ve put up a radio tower, over there. You see? By the remnants of the big Buddha statue?”

Leo looked at the couple hundred-foot-tall radio tower that was blinking red, and then back at Jason. “Yes. I have eyes, correct.”

Jason huffed, and wiped sweat out of his face. Leo had no idea how he was sweating; Leo still had his own hefty parka wrapped up around his entire body and face. Even running behind things and hiding, it was damn cold up north here. He looked like Kenny from South Park, but was hopefully not living out the same inevitable fate. 

“Okay, I need you to go up there and send a signal to our people for evac and recon. There are way too many guys here, too many supplies. Plus, Octavian is with them. They built something, on the far side. I don’t know what yet, I haven’t gotten close enough to tell, but, time is of the essence.”

Leo blanched, though Jason could likely not see that much expression on his face. “You want me to somehow get passed a million guards and trained militia guys, and go up to the top of what is basically the biggest target in the area, and then use their own tech against them? Yeah, that’ll go great, they definitely won’t overhear me sending out a message on the giant radio, or tip them off to the frequency we’re using.”

“Leo… there are three of them, one at the base, and two at the top. You’ve had some in-field training, your aim has always been pretty good at the range. Take a gun. Shoot the bad guy. Go up the ladder. Shoot more bad guys.” Jason sounded exasperated, but then again, he had been fighting like ten men primarily by himself. “Don’t worry, I’ll cause a distraction. I saw some TNT or something.”

Leo let out a high-pitched nervous giggle. “Good plan; we definitely won’t die. Explosives always make a situation better.”

Jason shoved a pistol into Leo’s lap. “Good luck, Leo.”

“Yeah,” Leo frowned at the weapon. “Good luck…Hey, Jason…If they have TNT up here, they must be excavating too. It can’t just be that they’re building. Why else would they go to the trouble unless they’re digging in? It’s not like there’s a bunch of resources here naturally. What could he possibly want up in the middle of the mountains? What do you think- you’re already gone aren’t you?” Leo turned his head to where Jason had been moments earlier, before Leo got caught up in his own mind. “Okay, fine. Tiny Rambo time.”

He could hear some guys shouting out Jason’s location on the other side of the temple, saying they were down to just three left. Jason, Leo, and one of the other Agents. The other 4 had already been killed, apparently. Not great odds. But it got the attention of anyone else in the area, and they ignored Leo sneaking up towards the radio tower. Granted, Leo’s parka was an Alpine type camouflage, which helped him go unnoticed in the snow and rock. Also, he was 5’2, and all the goons and Agents were like, at least 6 foot tall. 

As soon as Leo got to the base of the tower, he noticed the guard at the base. She was very unfortunately very hot. Leo had been hoping for some sloping browed Neanderthal. Looking down at the pistol in his hands, Leo huffed, and holstered it. It was a shame to kill someone so attractive.

“Hey,” Leo called out, swinging over a box, and grinning up at the woman. “Are you Snow White, because you’re the fairest person I can see. Also, we’re in the snow.”

She stared at him blankly, before she started to raise her gun at him. But, Leo was faster. He decided on bringing along some of his more experimental tech, including a custom designed taser.  
“I know, I know,” Leo cooed as he stepped over the twitching woman on the ground. “It’s _shocking_ how hot I am.” She made a gurgling angry noise.

He made his way up the ladder as quickly as he could, feet slipping on the frozen metal occasionally. There was a hatch to the top, which Leo pushed open as quietly as he could. The guards up at the top weren’t looking at Leo, but at the commotion caused by Jason. Well, at least they were until Leo accidentally kicked over a glass bottle. Then, he had two guns pointed directly at his forehead.

“Shit!” Leo yelped, and did the first thing his very stupid brain could come up with, which was throw something. He threw his pistol at one of the men, which hit the guy in the chest, and then fell to the ground.   
Like a scene out of a B-movie, the gun misfired as it hit the ground. (because apparently these guns were not made very well, because that wasn’t really supposed to happen) It shot up and through the guys knee. Baddie 1 fell, and started screaming, dropping his automatic rifle. Just as Baddie 2 started to react, a very large blast went off in the background, the explosives Jason must have set off, and caused the man to turn to look. Leo, again, acted instinctively, and charged the guy. Leo was small, but with enough force, Baddie 2 went stumbling up and over the railing of the radio tower, and down to the ground below.   
Leo winced, and cautiously looked over the edge. Baddie 2 was laying in the snow, screaming as well. He had apparently broken his leg in the fall, and it looked like he’d not be walking any time soon.

“Weird,” Leo said, looking back at Baddie 1, still writhing on the floor clutching his wound. “I got you guys in the same leg. Jinx? You owe me a coke.”   
Leo grabbed up the rifle from the guy but crouched down next to him. “Sorry man, what’s your name?”

“Fuck you!” 

“Weird name, no judgement though.” Leo got to work on the radio. It wasn’t like it was complicated, he got the message out easily enough, encoded in a sypher in Morse Code. Agent Chase would know, at least.

A noise caught Leo’s attention, and he looked out over the grounds below. A snow ski was leaving in a hurry, down through the trees. It looked like…Jason?   
But, why would Jason leave?  
Then again, Leo didn’t hear anything anymore. No gunfire, no yelling, besides the people Leo had injured. 

Leo quietly made his way down the ladder, and out onto the field. His rifle held limply at his side, he felt like he was walking through a dream, or maybe a nightmare. There were a lot of bodies, a lot of bad guys, but Leo saw a few Agents as well. He stopped next to the body of one, Agent Fletcher, Leo thought. He remembered singing along to some dumb music with the guy on the flight to Nepal. He seemed like a nice guy.   
As Leo moved on, through the temple, he realized where Jason must have set off the explosion. It was a passage to the other side of the temple, which was now entirely blocked off by rocks and rubble. A few bloody pools in the snow indicated there were some bad guys that had been in the way when it fell. Or maybe another Agent. Whoever the surviving Agent had been before, Leo didn’t see a trace of them anywhere.

“Ah, so he did leave another Agent to watch over me...I thought I had slit the throat of the last he had left…” 

Leo froze, grip tightening around the rifle. He knew that voice. Turning slowly to his left, Leo took in the sight of one Octavian [last name unknown] sitting against the wall of the temple, hands bound in front of him. He looked a bit worse for wear, and had some sort of wound in his shoulder, judging by the blood soaking through his clothes. Leo wasn’t really expecting him to be wearing a suit in this weather, but seeing the man in the remnants of a shredded winter coat was odd. 

“Not exactly,” Leo said, pulling back the hood on his parka with a free hand. Octavian seemed to perk up, before the expression fell off his face hard.

“Nice to see you again, Leo Valdez, though the circumstances could be better. I’m surprised your so called friend left you here to die.” Octavian glanced over down the path Jason had taken.

“Jason didn’t leave me here to die, he probably went to get help. I just sent out a message for reinforcements. They’ll be here any moment, helicopters, the whole shebang, and it looks like you’re all by your lonesome.” Leo said, crouching down in front of Octavian, who sent him a lazy smirk. 

“Maybe so, however, the storm will hit before they arrive. They won’t take off with the storm. We’ll be stuck here, likely well into tomorrow at least. Most of the supplies were destroyed by the blast or are on the other side of the rocks. Of course, I’ll likely bleed out before I freeze to death, but your survival odds don’t look great.”

Leo looked out across the mountains, and knew Octavian was likely telling the truth. Maybe Jason didn’t know it but leaving Leo here would be a death sentence.

“Except,” Leo said, smiling slowly, and looking back to Octavian. “We’re not going to die here. I went to a wildlife survival school!”

Octavian looked confused, yet amused. “…You did what now?”

“Middle of the desert! Shitty foster family! Didn’t know it could snow there, but oh my god it gets cold at night in the winter!” Leo yelled out, running off. “One second, just one second, I need a pencil!”

Within a few minutes, Leo had returned with arms full of junk, and remnants of destroyed supply crates. “Kindling, obviously; Some stuff from crates. I pulled out a bunch of the stuffing from a jacket off a body for a fire starter. Also, I grabbed a big piece of metal.” Leo looked around and frowned. “We need to move further into the temple though, this is still too cold, too windy. Even if I make a fire, it wouldn’t last long here. So, one second.”

Octavian raised an eyebrow as Leo scampered off again, down a pathway through the rocks. He returned with empty arms and crouched down next to Octavian. “Okay, uppies.”

“What?” Octavian nearly laughed, and Leo held out an arm.

“Stand up idiot, I’m moving you. Time is of the essence, right? Plus, there’s three other people I need to move here.”  
Leo wrapped an arm around Octavian’s side, and helped the taller man into a standing position before limping him to the room he had found further into the temple.

“Why are you doing this? Do you want a hostage so badly?” Octavian asked, as Leo helped place him down against the wall. Leo looked up, meeting his eyes directly.

“I could ask you the same thing, after you grabbed me last time and then did nothing. Either way, I’m not going to just let someone die, not if I can help them. Call me naïve, whatever, I don’t care. I’ve lost enough people.” Leo stood back up, and brushed snow off his pants. “Time to get Hot Lady, and the two broken brothers.”

Over the next thirty minutes, Octavian watched with growing amusement as Leo dragged Octavian’s own men into the room. They were all bigger than Leo was, and the so called Mechanic of the Agency was panting pretty heavily by the time he got all three in. The two men were awake, and yelling at Leo the entire time, until they saw Octavian. The woman was out cold.

“Okay!” Leo huffed, wiping off his forehead, reminding himself of Jason. Ah, so that’s how he got sweaty. “Time for a fire. And then the big piece of metal for two of you.”

“What?” one of the guys asked out, glaring up at Leo. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“It means he’s going to cauterize our wounds closed, to stop excessive bleeding.” Octavian answered, with a small smile. He wasn’t entirely certain why he was smiling. Must have been the blood loss.

The man, Mark, grimaced, but didn’t say anything more. 

In a testament to his abilities, Leo got the fire started fairly quickly, and it wasn’t small either. Leo had pulled out his home made taser and used the electrical current on the graphite from a split pencil, and as the pencil began to smoke and burst into flames, the wool from the jacket was used for tinder. It made for a very overly complicated fire starter, but it worked. Leo had plenty of wood to keep it going for a good long time. The room became comfortably warmer. They had been saved from a frozen death.   
Then it was time for the unpleasantness. Leo casually pulled the piece of metal out of the fire after it had time to warm up, and lifted it up with gloves. 

“Should be fine.” He placed it back and turned to Mark. “Okay, Baddie 1, you first.” Leo got to work, cutting away part of the mans pant leg, and cleaning it off with water he had in a canteen.   
“I found this, up in the radio tower.” Leo said, grabbing up another bottle. “Thought it was maybe more water, nope, vodka. Very unprofessional, guys. But, good for you though, I can at least somewhat disinfect this.”

Mark stayed quiet throughout most of it, but he snarled through the actual cauterizing. But it was done and wrapped quickly enough. 

“Okay, Doc Oct, you’re up.” Leo sat crosslegged in front of Octavian, pulling down his jacket and shirt, and undershirt. “How’d this happen, by the way? Jason shoot you?”

“No, shrapnel from the blast. I was cut off from my men, and briefly unconscious. It was enough time for, well.” Octavian looked down at his bound hands. Leo hummed, and nodded. Jason had at least apparently applied pressure to the wound, and some cloth padding to keep it from bleeding too much, which Leo had noticed earlier. Jason definitely wanted to keep Octavian alive, otherwise they’d never know what all the man had been up to.

“Well, I’m not untying you. If I fix you up, and you have a fire going, you have no reason to keep me alive, so…”

“I wouldn’t hurt you,” Octavian said softly, and he meant it. “I also don’t mind being tied up, from time to time.”

“Well, sorry I’m not some sexy femme fatale then. Maybe you’d enjoy this more.” 

“Doubtful.”

Leo laughed, rolling his eyes. “Whatever you say, bud. Let’s get you fixed up.”

It didn’t take long, but it wasn’t fun. It was harder to wrap as well, since it was in his upper shoulder. Leo had to use some tape to attach the cloth fragments he had.   
“Sorry, I don’t have any pain relievers, but they’d probably thin your blood anyway.”

Octavian had beads of sweat of his own, just from the pain. His connections, his empire, his knowledge, none of it kept him from being human. His nerve endings around the wound were on fire. He’d been shot before, but this was different, there was more damage to the surface of the skin.  
“I’m fine.”

Leo had a small smile and sat down between Octavian and the other guard that had a broken leg. They were all awake now, though the female guard was also silent, choosing instead to glare at Leo. He’d tied her hands up before she woke up as well.

“So, we have until tomorrow before help comes…” Leo said after a minute, he could hear the wind blowing outside. Jason hadn’t left him on purpose, right? “I have some snacks in my coat, just standard survival stuff. You know, the bars that are basically 90% sawdust and lard? So, I can hand those out as time goes on, but if we’re here over 24 hours it might get thin.”

“I suppose we’ll see,” Octavian said, exchanging a look with the woman. She sent him a small nod, that Leo Valdez hadn’t caught. They weren’t so helpless. 

Leo dug into the many pockets inside his parka and pulled out a tablet.   
“I made this thingy, it’s got a 48 hour battery life. I’m no Apple or anything, but I did download a few movies onto it. Anyone want to watch Die Hard? I also have Indiana Jones 3, the Trouble with Tribbles episode of Star Trek, Star Wars 4-6, Silence of the Lambs, Big Hero 6, and Hairspray.”  
Leo received a strange look from everyone in the room, and a small laugh from Octavian.

A few hours later, Leo had fallen asleep against the wall, and slipped down until his head was in Octavian’s lap. Octavian wasn’t interested in the movies, he had simply been watching Leo, for the most part. What an odd creature. 

“Sir?” The woman, whispered. “They’re here.”

Octavian glanced down at his watch, it was blinking red. “So they are…Tell them we’ll be bringing aboard another on the helicopter.”

“Again?” Mark asked, before wincing. “Er, is that wise…sir?”

“I like him,” Octavian said, moving a bound hand to brush hair out of Leo’s face. He could still hear Alan Rickman’s character coming through the tablet speakers. Hans Gruber. German, was it?  
 _Liebling_.

-

  
“Hey…Piper, can I talk to you?” 

Piper looked up from the maps she was studying, to find Leo standing at the doorway, looking antsy and more than a little nervous. He was rocking from foot to foot, and twiddling his fingers together, and seemingly not looking at anything for more than a few seconds. Granted, he was usually fidgety and not paying a ton of attention, but this seemed more so.

“Yeah, of course,” Piper frowned, but waved him into the small room. It wasn’t the coziest of places to be for long periods of time, inside an Agency converted covert C-5M Super Galaxy airliner. “What’s up?”

Leo closed the heavy door behind himself and leaned up against the wall. It was more like a closet with a hammock than a bedroom, but that’s all they were getting as they made the trip from Spain to Johannesburg.   
“So, uh, you remember the last time I got kidnapped?”

Leo was often gone for more than a day or two when he was grabbed by the psychopath Octavian, but last time he had been missing for just over two weeks. When they finally rescued Leo, it felt less like a rescue and more like they were picking him up from school. No real fight was put up, Leo wasn’t injured. But he was quieter than usual. 

“Yeah, of course. Which was this again, 16?” Piper smiled tiredly. Another thing that was odd, Leo and she hadn’t been friends as long as Leo and Jason had been, but they became friends fast. Leo always told her about every kidnapping. But, not this last one. Or maybe, Leo had never told her the entire truth.  
She was worried, they all were. Maybe something had happened, maybe Octavian had forced himself on Leo, or abused him in some other way.

“Yeah, 16,” Leo muttered to himself with a shadow of a smile. “So, uh…I know we haven’t really talked about it much, but…it’s been hard for me to process.”

Piper sat upright, worried. “You know you can tell me anything right? No judgement.”

Leo crossed his arms and looked away from her, not meeting her eyes. His posture had shifted back to closed off, upset. “Except for the part where you all think I’m fucking stupid for thinking Octavian is in love with me, right? No judgement apart from that, of course.”

“Leo,” Piper sighed, standing up. “It’s not that. I think Octavian might very well be obsessed with you, or something…I just think you’re…not seeing the situation for what it is?”

“We had sex,” Leo admitted, tone short. He still wasn’t looking at her. Piper froze, barely believing what she had heard.

“…What? Leo, you didn’t…”

“Yeah, well. I did. A lot. Like, a lot. Started about 2-3 days in. Not sure the time of night. I think daily after that. Well, one time we started, but we were in the gardens, and I got stung by a bee. Like on my ass. It landed there, just as he was, you know…spanking me and...It stung. Threw off the mood, sorry, over share… but yeah…I had sex with a …supervillain bent on world domination.” Leo’s shoulders were trembling just slightly, and he was still not meeting her eyes.   
“Piper, the bad thing is…is…I don’t know how much I even care anymore? I didn’t want to leave. I knew I had to, but…fuck it was hard. I’m happy when I’m with him. I don’t agree with what he’s doing, sometimes. But, sometimes…I just don’t care. And, when it’s just us…I’m happy.”

Piper clenched her jaw. She had to say something, she couldn’t let Leo hurt himself life this. There was no world where this would end well. There was no happy ending. 

“Leo, I’m sorry, but I have to say this. He doesn’t love you. He doesn’t care about you. He’s not capable of it.” Piper moved around the small table and put her hands on either side of Leo’s arms. “You can’t do this again. You’re only going to-“

“What? Get hurt?” Leo laughed bitterly and pulled out of her grasp. “You know what? So far the only person who hasn’t hurt me, or made me feel like shit, has been Octavian. Maybe we’re both rotten people.”

When he turned and left, Piper had no idea what to do. If she told anyone, the Agency might think Leo had turned traitor. It could get him thrown in a jail cell.   
If she told Jason, he might end his friendship with Leo, and she couldn’t do that to either of them. They’d been friends for so long, and Piper knew Leo wasn’t stupid. She just…

She just had to hope Leo wouldn’t get himself killed.

-

Octavian was gone for part of the day, he had meetings. Gross. Still, “kidnapping” 19 was going pretty nicely so far. Sex, chilling on the beach, sex, watch a movie, sex, wine, sex, lounging in the gardens, and you get the picture. Then, sometimes, they’d not have sex, they’d just talk or lay next to one another, and that was also weirdly amazing. Of course, Leo had some friends, but it was a different kind of closeness.  
Leo hadn’t expected himself to be so affectionate, then again, he’d never had the chance to test it. 

But, right now, Octavian was out. You’d think Leo would be left locked up alone in the bedroom, so as to not wander around or discover things he shouldn’t. Nope, Octavian gave him free roam of the compound, including their experimental tech department. Leo always spent a good number of hours there, critiquing their scientists, though not giving them much in the way of useful information. ‘I’m smarter than you and fucking your boss,’ was always a fun little power trip.

Finally, when Leo got bored of heckling nerds, he decided to see if Octavian was back yet. Leo went back to the bedroom and heard a noise coming from the attached restroom. Leo grinned, wondering if he could startle the other man, which would be highly amusing and looked in, expecting Octavian.  
It wasn’t. It was a large guard, one Leo had seen in passing, but this guy seemed to be new. He was definitely ex-military of some kind, Leo’d met enough Agents to tell.

“Uh, sorry man,” Leo said, faltering, and taking a step back. Why was he here, had Octavian sent him to check up on Leo?

The man had looked up when Leo opened the door, and sent him a crooked grin.  
“Oh, there you are.”

He didn’t have to say anything more, Leo felt a chill go down his spine and turned to run. He didn’t make it far, before the guy had grabbed him by the arm and threw him to the floor. The ex-military guard pulled out a long sharp blade and smiled down at Leo. Leo’s blood was rushing in his ears so loudly it felt like rushing water, he couldn’t breathe.  
“Sorry, kid, you’re a security risk.”

Security risk?

“For whom?” 

And just like that, air rushed back into his lungs. The guard looked up, startled by the voice, but Leo already knew who it was. Leo looked up and backwards to see Octavian, and his right-hand man Kahale standing in the room entrance with about 10 other hired thugs.

“It would be in your best interest to drop your weapon, and step backwards.” Octavian smiled dangerously. His eyes were cold and hard.   
This man wouldn’t leave the room alive; Leo knew it in that instant.

Security risk?

The guard sat up, and dropped the knife, holding his hands up in a defensive position. “Octavian, sir. I-“

“I know, you don’t have to say it.” Octavian took a step closer. “I’m sure we can come to some sort of…agreement.”

He was going to die. Octavian as going to kill him. He was already dead, wasn’t he? Leo looked sideways at the knife that had fallen to the ground.  
Leo had felt so terrified, so scared. Not just in the face of his own death. What would have happened when Octavian found Leo’s body? Would he have, or would the man have taken Leo’s body?   
Would they have ever found him?  
Would Octavian think Leo had left him?  
Would his friends in the Agency think Leo had abandoned them?  
Would anyone miss him?

Security risk?

In the blink of the eye, the guard lunged for the knife, but Leo was faster. Instinctively, Leo grabbed the knife and shoved it upwards, up under his rib cage. Once and then twice, and then a third time.  
The guard gurgled and fell backwards, staring down at Leo in shock. He coughed, and blood splattered onto Leo’s cheek.

Leo shoved the body away and slowly stood up on shaking knees, and Octavian was at his side immediately. 

“Mi amor-“ Octavian’s voice cut in to the side, and Leo shook his head. Leo felt tears rushing down his face. His hands were slick with blood. The man below him was dying, Leo had killed a man.  
Leo felt no sympathy.

“Who?” Leo’s voice was shaking even to his own ears. “Did the Agency send you to kill me?”

“Yes.” The man coughed out a congealed dark lump of blood, before he laughed, just slightly. “Whore.”

“I hope it hurts,” Leo hissed at the figure as he lay dying, unaware of the way Octavian was looking at him.

-

Octavian hadn’t been thrilled when eventually the Agents had retaken Leo. He couldn’t kill any of Leo’s ‘friends’ - not without severely hurting Leo in the process. Of course, throwing them in a cell for the rest of their miserable lives, Octavian was fine with that. But, it hadn’t mattered, they had successfully infiltrated, and Octavian had to watch as Jason fucking Grace pulled Leo into an Agency helicopter, and vanished into the night.  
He couldn’t wait, Octavian had to get Leo back as soon as possible. While he had his own suspicions as to where the assassin came from, the fact of the matter was Leo was no longer safe in the Agency.

“We received word that they landed in New Zealand, sir.” Kahale announced, showing the intel their people had received. “We can be there in an hour, in the jet.”

“Good,” Octavian stood. “Bring as many of your best people as you can. We’re retaking him tonight.”   
It had already been too long, over a week now with no new information that would help. It was eating away at him.

“…Octavian, I’ve been your friend for a long time, haven’t I?” Kahale asked, after a moment. Octavian let out an extended sigh, knowing he was about to get a lecture.

“Yes, Michael. What’s wrong?”

“Do you really want to be spending this much in the way of resources on…a guy from the Agency? Is Leo Valdez really that important?”

“Yes,” Octavian said flatly. “He is.”

“You’ve had some lapses in judgement in the past. Do you remember Bryce?” Kahale asked, and Octavian scoffed, looking away from the man and to his phone for any more updates.

“Yes, I remember Bryce. He had good connections and was very eager to suck cock. That’s as much as I cared about his general existence. Did you see me weep when di Angelo put him down? I was about to kill him myself, for that screw up in Monaco. There was no lapse in judgement. He was convenient.”

“You’re telling me that Leo Valdez’ abilities, and connections aren’t convenient?” Kahale pulled out a chair and sat next to him. 

“Why does everyone seem convinced I only want to use him? I don’t care about any of that.” Octavian glanced up with a glare. “They’re entirely different situations. Bryce was nothing. Leo is…”

-

  
“Dead!” Piper McLean yelled, tears running down her face. One of his agents held her back, but Octavian stood stunned in place.

“What?” He asked dumbly, static growing in his head. “What do you mean he’s dead?”

“You don’t know? That’s weird.” Piper laughed spitefully. “Since you’re the one who attacked us. You know, I actually started to believe Leo when he told me about you two. I honestly, for a minute, thought you cared about him. That you loved him. I’m sure Leo thought the same thing up until the moment he was blasted out of an airplane. We were pretty high up, you know. If the blast didn’t initially kill him or knock him unconscious, I bet he had enough time to realize you betrayed him. You fucking _monster_.”

There was a sharp noise in Octavian’s head, as he processed what the woman was saying. It was hard to distinguish the sound from the klaxons on the military vessel. Kahale was saying something behind him, quietly, too quietly for Octavian to understand.

“You didn’t know, did you?” A soft voice broke the chaos. Octavian focused in on the sound, Agent Hazel Levesque. She looked similarly saddened, but there was something like sympathy in her eyes.

“Even if he didn’t know, it was still his people. He had to have called the strike in.” Jason Grace said, his voice was a tone Octavian had never heard before. He legitimately wanted to kill Octavian. “Regardless if he knew or not, it’s still his fault Leo is dead.”

“My fault?” Octavian said very slowly, looking up to meet Grace’s eyes. “My fault? You’re the one who took him from me. It was your Agency that attempted to assassinate Leo. I ordered no such strike; I ordered no attacks. My entire focus these last number of days was purely to get Leo back. I would not be standing here unless I believed Leo was also here.”

“I thought you were tracking him?” di Angelo asked, confused. “How else were you finding him all the time? Obviously his tracker isn’t here.”

“Double agents, homework, and what very nearly amounts to stalking.” Kahale said easily behind Octavian’s shoulder.

“…Leo didn’t have a tracker,” Octavian realized after a minute. “Did you think he was dead because his tracker was offline?”

“No, we mostly thought he was dead of the giant hole in the plane where he had been. We had to make an emergency landing, before making it here.”

“If it wasn’t you, then who attacked us?” Agent Jackson asked, as a few of the others came to a similar realization. “It couldn’t have been the Agency, even if they didn’t trust Leo anymore. They wouldn’t have risked killing all of us, would they?”

“No, in this particular situation, I doubt it. I think there’s another force at play here, and I believe someone else in this room may know.” Octavian made eye contact with the person in the room keeping quiet. “Agent Chase, do you want to share with the class?”

The other agents looked to her in surprise and confusion, but the blonde woman let out a deep breath.   
Agent Chase spoke, about her worries and suspicions. Cases that didn’t add up; or didn’t seem to be ultimately related to Octavian’s mission. Those few Agents left in the room were shocked, though they didn’t argue it. No one challenged Chase’s read on events.

“Did…you actually love him?” Piper McLean asked, as Octavian was beginning to leave. They had a plan, at least.

“That does not accurately reflect the depths of my affection. But yes, in simple words, I love him.”  
Piper hadn’t missed the fact Octavian wasn’t using past-tense, and it showed on her face.

Octavian turned to Kahale. “Get all of their flight info, and details of the attack. I’m not accepting his death until I have turned over every rock and searched every island, dune, or scrap of wood floating in the Pacific.”


End file.
